


Wastelands

by Tactician404



Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Adventure & Romance, Alternate Universe, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Humor, Romance, Warring States Period (Naruto)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-25 16:15:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18578023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tactician404/pseuds/Tactician404
Summary: 1000 years before the birth of the Shinobi Nations, ten individuals are paid handsomely to transport a pair of Hyuuga Princesses across the apocalyptic landscapes that have come to be known as the Wastelands. Naruto and his new group of mercenaries must learn to live together, fight for one another and love each other as the whole world comes crashing down around them. The Era of Warring States AU. OCs. Not SI.





	1. Naruto of No Clan

**Author's Note:**

> According to the scrolls, a thousand years ago, Kaguya Otsutsuki ate the Chakra Fruit produced by the God Tree and became the first Jinchuuriki. Eighty years ago, the Warring States Era concluded. This story takes place in that nine-hundred-year gap in time that no history book dares to speak about. AU post-apocalyptic, Mad Max-like, Warring States setting. Mature Rating for possible lemons, swearing, character death, swearing, blood, angst, swearing and violence… Tayuya's in it, so I should probably warn you, there might be a bit of swearing here and there.

 

 

**Chapter One: Enter Naruto of No Clan**

XXX

" **Listen carefully… a long time ago. Before there was Man. There was only a Void. Within the Void lived the gods. And the gods. In their states of boredom created Monsters. Terrifying creatures whose sole duties were to feast, and feast on only one thing. Man. Man was on the menu. Only Man could satisfy their hunger. And the gods with their craftiness, made Man the only beings who knew how to stop the Monsters. Ever since the Sage of Six Paths split Yin and Yang into two, the Monsters have once again been unleashed. And what of the Men with the knowledge to seal them? They've been thrust forwards in time to a time too far beyond mortal Man's reach."**

XXX

_October, 09._

_100 Years after the defeat of Kaguya._

Space and time distorted on the highest floor of a lonely high-rise in the Land of Rain. Nine figures in pitch black robes were scattered around a dark and dingy room minding their own businesses when a ninth figure emerged from the ripple in space-time. Dressed in a black cloak, drenched in rainwater with an orange, single eye-exposing, mask. The man walked into the building and removed his robe to reveal black top and pants with a faded green scarf and dark grey gloves.

The man began removing his gloves as one of the mysterious figures approached. A tenth figure appeared from the wall. Introduced by a Venus' Fly Trap-like plant sprouting from the damp concrete. The plant opened to reveal a creepy two-faced being who didn't say anything until the approaching figure pulled back his hoodie.

"What have you got?" the silver-haired man asked his followers.

"Probably herpes," the masked man tried to make light of the situation.

"I'm being serious Tobi," the pierced man growled.

"So am I, Lord Pain!"

The God of Judgement instinctively turned to the plant-man growing out of his wall for answers. More of the hybrid appeared from the wall until he was completely separated from the barrier. The creature in black rose to his feet.

" **The Land of Grass has sparked conflict with the Land of Earth for the property surrounding the Kyuusai Bridge,"**  the black half of his face spoke with a deep bellowing voice, "The Land of Grass had pre-booked the Senju Clan for an apparent 100 million Ryo… whilst the Land of Earth might be forced to hire the Uchiha Clan for 350 million… if they can find the money," the white half was a little more sensitive and appeared to question everything he said with a pause.

"Of course they can find the money," Lord Pain turned to face the large opening in the wall that Tobi had walked through. The rain continued to fall on the Land of Rain. Both countries were bordering on his land. His band of mercenaries could've probably taken out the Senju Clan if they weren't expecting it, but he would risk starting a war with the Land of Grass' Daimyo, who was much closer to him than the Land of Earth's. He needed to make a choice: Either make an agreement with the Land of Earth to wipe out the Senju army for 250 million Ryo, aid the Land of Grass to help boost his new clan's reputation with an added 50 million Ryo on the side, or wait on the sidelines for one of the countries to mess up so that he can colonise it like he did the Rain Country, "Any news from the Land of Lightning?"

With the Land of Fire's recent betrayal of their greatest ally, the Land of Eddies, they'd lost their status as the strongest country in the Ninja World. The Land of Lightning, thanks to them having two Tailed Beasts, namely the Two Tails and the Eight Tails, were quick to steal that title and didn't seem like letting go of it anytime soon.

"I… I don't know," the white Zetsu shrugged,  **"The Land of Fire and the Land of Lightning have recently agreed on a deal. The Lightning Daimyo's grandson became infatuated with the Land of Fire's Hyuuga Heiress, but refused to take the Clan Name of Hyuuga, so they decided to marry off the heiress's older sister instead with the Land of Lightning offering 2 billion Ryo in return. Perhaps if we offer to escort her we could grab 500 million for ourselves."**

Lord Pain was already deep in thought, "Wait!" everyone stopped to stare at the contemplating genius. His Rinnegan pierced the clouds, creating an opening as he thought, "No, no. The Land of Fire is currently low on funds since losing the Land of Eddies. They won't be able to afford a strong clan to escort the Hyuuga woman, and with the Uchiha and the Senju preoccupied we can kidnap the woman and hold her at ransom for the whole 2 billion, since the Land of Lightning is so keen on spending its newfound cash. Oumagatoki will rise at last."

Oumagatoki, roughly translating to 'dusk', was the up-and-coming mercenary group turned clan made up of twenty-one S-rank fighters who'd been banished by their original clans. Led by the Rinnegan-wielding God of Judgement, Pain (New Daimyo of the Land of Rain after the previous one was… sent away). Lord Pain lifted his hood over his spiky silver hair.

"You two," he first turned to Tobi, but the clueless man was trying to smell his finger through his mask. He looked over to Zetsu who was already morphing back into the wall, "Shift your focus to the Hyuuga incident, but report back to me if any other big money deal occurs out in the Wastelands, and update me on the Uchiha-Senju battle when it begins."

"Of course, Lord Pain," he melted into the concrete.

"No problem, sir," Tobi fell through the floor.

"Why is everyone sitting around? You have your new pairs, don't you? We need bonds, grab some money and get out into the Wastelands," Lord Pain commanded, "Come Yahiko, come Konan, we have an issue to attend to in the South-West Section 23."

The duo left the room, slamming the large wooden doors as they disappeared. Tobi appeared through the floor.

"Forgot my coat," he giggled before walking through a wall.

XXX

"Hey!"

Naruto's eyes opened instantly as he sprung across the stuffy room and landed in one of the corners. His wild spiky blonde hair flopped around as he landed on his knees as he placed his back on the corner. A big-boned woman with a double-chin, a pink apron, short red hair and a large broom stood under the door frame. Naruto's blue eyes quickly scanned the room before returning to the woman.

"How many times have I told you, you can't stay in the rooms if you don't rent them out," she shouted. Naruto smirked. He fell into a cross-legged position before looking around for his possessions. A backpack had been carelessly thrown into the farthest corner. His red robe with black flames was sitting at the foot of 'his' bed. His black shin-high sandals were tucked neatly under the bed. His weapon pouch, filled with shuriken and kunai knives, was sitting on the end table. And his orange jumpsuit was probably in the closet.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry Baa-chan, but you know I'll pay my tab when I get money," he flashed the older lady a foxy grin, unaware of the fact that she was actually advancing. He got hit in the head with a broom, "ITAI!"

She continued to beat on him with the wooden broom, "What have I told you about calling me 'Baa-chan', huh? I'm only thirty-five years old, you disrespectful youth! Sure, my youthful days are behind me but one day you'll be thirty-five and realise how young it is! Stop breaking into my apartment rooms because you close the windows and the dust can't get out, so I have to brush every morning! And you earn thousands every time you go out of town and kill innocent people so don't you dare give me that line!" the assault ceased.

"You can't blame me, Obaa-chan," he tried to be a little politer to no avail, "You've heard the statistics, the average life expectancy out in the Wastelands is twenty-eight years. You're ancient in my books, dattebayo."

He got two extra hits for those comments. He was trapped between the meaty tree trunks she calls legs. He couldn't escape her broom swings.

"Well, I don't live in the Wastelands. Murder is illegal in the Sanctions. They say even the great Uchiha Clan respects Sanction customs. The average life expectancy here is seventy-three… although most of us are widowed old women by that time," she sighed, "Luckily, my Izumo was wiser and chose to abandon his clan to come live with me in this Sanction."

"That's… that's amazing," Naruto looked around and calculated… it would take him two seconds max to grab all his things from the room, but he'd have to grab his clothes from the closet and put them on without being caught.

"I'm just saying, Naruto. Mei from the Dango place said that the ratio of men to women in the Ninja World is 1 is to 47. That means you could potentially have 47 wives if you just stopped all this fighting… I mean, I heard men like having more than one woman… with the exception of my Izumo, of course."

"You don't really have time to think about relationships when your life is on the line every day," Naruto said.

"That's what I'm saying, I know this beautiful girl who lives down the road. She's got the most youthful breasts ever and she's still pure because most of the males in the Sanction are either toddlers or are too old to even have sex anymore. I actually think you're in only twenty-year-old in this Sanction, Naruto."

"I'm actually eighteen, until tomorrow."

"Even better," she sounded surprised, "Come on Naruto, think about it. There's like a hundred young women in this Sanction and you're the only one who can satisfy their urges to-!"

Naruto exploded with quick feet and quick hands. He grabbed his weapons pouch, clipped it onto the side of his thigh, grabbed his shoes from under the bed, threw them to the other side of the bed, leapt over the bed, snatched his robe, put his shoes on, and only then looked back. The woman was still a little stunned. He grabbed his backpack and stopped at the closet to grab his jumpsuit.

"HEY! You still haven't paid!" her brain caught up. Naruto nabbed his jumpsuit and made a run for it. He painstakingly hopped down the wooden hallway as he put his pants on over his shoes. He threw his orange and black jacket on, zipped it up and concluded by sliding his robe on and leaping through an open window.

The blonde landed gracefully next to a crowd of young women.

"Naruto!" they screamed.

"Hey," Naruto wanted to get as far away from Baa-chan's Standard Apartments. He made his way down the dusty road at full speed.

Two hundred years ago, people had to be at constant war with themselves and the Monsters that had been unleashed from the Brink. A hundred years ago, Lady Kaguya ate the Chakra Fruit produced by the God Tree every millennium. This gave her control over the Monsters, they disappeared into the shadows and the lands were at peace thanks to Lord Tenji and Lady Kaguya's reign. One night, Kaguya went crazy and killed her husband, vowing to reclaim the freshly dispersed chakra from everyone. It took months for her sons to band together and seal her away, splitting Yin and Yang into two to create the Tailed Beasts and spark wars amongst countries for the land, money and power that once belonged to the Otsutsuki Empire. The Ninja World turned into the Wastlelands. A horrible place where anything could happen to you at any moment.

Along with the rush for land. There was a rush for power, a rush for chakra and a bigger rush to learn and discover new jutsu. If you could weave the right hand signs and distribute the right amount of chakra to the right body part, you could discover a potentially lethal new jutsu that could be sold to a country for millions. The bloodlust brought the Monsters that had plagued people's nightmares for centuries and to protect those who didn't want to be caught in the adrenaline rush that was the Wastelands, they built Sanctions. Large villages that would keep the Monsters out, and act as a ceasefire for men.

The Leaf Village was one of the biggest private Sanctions in the Land of Fire. Private in that, it ran itself, no money from the feudal lords or from any big clans was used unless they were stopping there to rest. Everyone knew each other, so everyone would grieve together when someone's father, brother, or son was declared dead on the battlefield. It was even worse when it was someone's mother, sister or daughter because it happened less frequently. Fortunately, or unfortunately, for the remaining males, this meant that they were more valuable and bigger targets for kidnappings and murders. The number of Uchiha, Senju, Aburame, Hyuuga, Nara, Akimichi, Sarutobi, Yamanaka, Namikaze, Fuuma, Otsutsuki, and Uzumaki young boys who were killed just because of their last name was so high that the clans had to resort to changing boys' last names and separating from them only to return to them when they were fighting fit.

The Wastelands were horrible… but they were a part of life in the Ninja World.

"Naruto! Come by to try my new ramen batch!" Ayame, one of the survivors of the Ichiraku Massacre, called out from the Ichiraku Ramen Stand as the beautiful young blonde sprinted past. He ground to a halt in front of the little shop and shrugged. He was probably just going to run out of the Sanction to get himself killed anyway.

"A last meal would be great," he chuckled, but Ayame didn't like joking about death. A year ago, the Ichiraku Clan left the Sanction because they were offered a 30 million Ryo deal, but it turned out to be an ambush, which left all fifty-three young men dead. She saw Naruto as a brother, and technically, the last male in her clan. If he had to die, she wouldn't be able to handle it, "I'm sorry," he grabbed her hand when he saw her face twist into a frown.

She tried to give him a smile.

"How about a bowl of sweet miso ramen, maybe that'll give me the strength to cut down everyone that stands in my way," he laughed. Ayame nodded excitedly before disappearing into the back. As she vanished, a familiar looking woman appeared with an apron around her hips.

"Naru-chan!"

"Hana!"

Hana was a member of the Leaf's Inuzuka Clan. Formerly, a clan made up of hundreds of crazy warriors who discovered the ability to train ninja hounds and formed such dualities and similarities that they could become one with the hounds, ripping through enemies like freight trains through paper. Now, only three members remained. Kiba and Akamaru, Naruto's best friend and fellow Wastelands Scavenger who once helped him secure a 50 000 Ryo deal; Hana and Kuromaru, the Inuzuka Clan's matriarch and patriarch respectively; and Hana and her Haimaru Brothers, the only member with more than one ninja hound. Hana ran two jobs just to pay the bills in case Kiba's scavenging didn't work out. She was the Sanction's only trained veterinarian and she'd been helping Ayame run the ramen stand ever since the Ichiraku Family Massacre.

Hana was the only person in the entire Sanction who understand that Naruto was more of a scavenger than a mercenary. The difference was that a mercenary was the common assassin who got paid to kill, a scavenger would usually come by after the dust had settled and collect what the clans were 'too good' to collect, usually one Ryo bills that would amount to thousands at times. He also looted bodies and, if need be, searched the houses for any survivors and brought them back to the Sanction. Of course, if a good mercenary came by Naruto wasn't one to decline. Scavenging wasn't as dangerous as mercenary work, but in the Wastelands, someone could kill you simply because you look like a guy they once saw.

"Found anything interesting?" she asked placing an empty bowl on the counter. She proceeded to furiously wipe away the smudges as Naruto spoke.

"Nah, but I feel like since the Land of Fire just broke away from the Fire-Eddies Agreement, more wars will take place around this area, which means more loot," Naruto explained whilst staring intensely at Hana's wiping. It was mother-like, to say the least. Naruto's lack of motherly affection meant he craved a woman who could love him as a mother would. He looked back up to Hana's face. She had extremely smooth and shiny pale skin with the iconic Inuzuka 'red fang' tattoos on her cheeks. Her brown hair was tied into a bun for work purposes with two strands hanging over her face. She wore her cream vet jacket to work but hung an apron over it to avoid staining the expensive piece. Naruto could watch her wipe bowls for days, but that would've been weird. If it weren't for the age difference, and her questionable 'friendship' with Ayame, Hana would've probably been Naruto's first choice in partner. He didn't really care about that whole 47 girls for every guy thing.

"Yeah, definitely," Hana had been too focused on the bowl to answer Naruto, but as she did Ayame emerged from the back with a steaming hot bowl of ramen. Hana spun around to face the kitchen, she disappeared behind the room divider.

Two women lifted the curtains and took their seats next to Naruto.

"Two bowls of miso ramen please," the one with a raspy voice ordered for both of them. Naruto raised an eyebrow before blowing on his ramen.

"Since when did you eat ramen?" he asked.

He turned on his bar stool to face Tayuya and Kin. Tayuya blushed before turning to Kin. The clueless woman with long black hair shrugged. Naruto could never forget how he'd met Tayuya and Kin, and the women could never be thankful enough to the gods that Naruto was where he was when he was.

Last year, Naruto, for some reason, had decided to venture further north then he'd ever ventured in the Wastelands. No battles for land had taken place in the Land of Fire because the Fire-Eddies Agreement was in full swing and Uzumaki Guards, trained in the Way of Fire, were guarding the borders in their numbers. Naruto thought he'd had stumbled on a battlefield near the border of the Land of Sound and the Land of Fire, but it was a famous Facility that ran tests on young people to try and create an army of super shinobi. Naruto had recently discovered his Nine Tails healing ability and used it to bring both Tayuya and Kin back from the verge of death after them almost drowning. Everyone else had died in an incident that was later dubbed the Land of Sound Facility Meltdown. After carrying both survivors to the Sanction, they explained that the meltdown occurred when the Three Tails and the Five Tails were accidentally sealed into Tayuya and Kin respectively, during a test to figure out how much Tailed Beast chakra a human child could take. The Sanction welcomed both Tayuya and Kin with open arms and after a year they were well-known Jinchuuriki.

"Did you hear about the Land of Fire's deal with the Land of Lightning?" Tayuya asked after her blushing concluded.

"Yeah, I heard the Land of Fire is receiving 2 billion Ryo," Naruto said.

"Well, did you hear that the Hyuuga Clan is receiving an extra 1 billion Ryo?" Tayuya asked.

"Good for them," Naruto quickly slurped down the first strands of ramen.

"And they're using 500 million to pay for the escorts," Tayuya was beating around the bush, something Naruto didn't really fancy.

"Good for them," he repeated.

"The four of us were offered to join a group of mercenaries to help escort the Hyuuga princesses to the Land of Lightning," Kin said, flat-out.

Naruto stopped eating to take that information in, "A group of mercenaries?" he licked the side of his mouth, then swallowed, "How many of us in this group?" Naruto wiped his hands on one of the serviettes. Tayuya pulled out a scroll and read through it to find the passage.

"Ten."

"Well, what do you mean the four of us? There's only three Jinchuuriki in the Leaf," Naruto turned to the women.

"That Yamanaka girl is coming with us… Ino."

"Hmph… I don't usually like doing mercenary work with someone who comes from a clan," Naruto stroked the light stubble on his chin, "Where is this Ino?"

"How am I supposed to know?" Tayuya growled.

Naruto laughed, "Sure, when and where do they want us to meet?" he asked.

"The Glass Sanction, a government-funded Sanction to the north… quite close to the border between the Land of Rain and the Land of Fire," Tayuya was too lazy to search for a map in her backpack so she tried to use her mental knowledge of the Rain-Fire border. There was a chance she could've been wrong, but who cared?

"How long will it take us to get there?"

"It says, please be prompt around twelve noon, so we can leave at six in the morning and if we don't run into trouble, we'll get there at around eleven."

Two bowls of ramen were dropped in front of both women. Kin instantly turned to slurp down the steaming hot ramen. Tayuya let hers cool for a minute. Another figure lifted the curtains and jumped on the seat to Naruto's left.

"There you are, Naruto, Kin, Tayuya! I'm Ino from the Yamanaka Clan," the excited platinum blonde raised a peace sign to her eyes and winked. Tayuya froze before facing Naruto and muttering 'Oh Kami', "So, I'm guessing you're all discussing tomorrow's mission, if you are I actually have some suggestions and steps to make sure this mission goes off without a hitch," she rummaged through her backpack.

"Would you like some ramen, Yamanaka-san?" Ayame identified Ino by the symbol on the back of her purple tank top. She flipped her blonde bang to stare at the ramen girl.

"Oh no, ramen would be like a middle finger to my hips," she giggled before finally dropping her backpack and pulling out a map that already had different locations marked off in some black ink. She slapped the map onto the table and rolled it out so everyone could see. Kin had to shift her bowl to the wall just so she could eat in peace, "Since the Glass Sanction is only roughly five hours from here we should probably leave around five in the morning, so we could give ourselves two hours of space, in case we run into some idiots who don't know who they're messing with. Then, I feel like since we'd be so close to the Grass border, instead of walking along the Land of Fire's border which will probably be war-ridden, we could just cut through the Grass, then head up into the Land of Waterfalls, which is never at war, then we could hop into the Land of Iron, Sound, and then stop at the Land of Hot Water so I can get my pores opened after all that walking and sweating. And with the Land of Frost being the only land bridge into the Land of Lightning I think that'd be an obvious country we'd have to pass through to get to the Lightning Country."

Naruto had already finished his ramen so his attention was now fully directed at Ino, who had a pretty solid plan. Tayuya was too busy watching her ramen cool to care about what Ino was saying, Ino was never really her favourite person in the Leaf Sanction. Kin had just finished her ramen and was staring into space, quietly wondering how she managed to scarf down that much ramen in such a short span of time.

Ino continued, "I had daddy mark out all the best resting places along the way, each of these X's is a private Sanction, so things will be more expensive there but at least we'll have a little more space to breathe. They're quite spread out too, so we'll only run into one every week or so. The Y's are Yamanaka Household Homes. Thanks to me being on the mission we can stop there and resupply if need be. The only problem is they're only located in the Land of Waterfalls and the Land of Iron so from Sound to Frost we'll have to make do. The Z's are potential warzones. Conflict can obviously hit us from anywhere, but one of our spies mapped out valuable structures and plots of land that might stir up conflict in the coming months. We have some in the Land of Iron, the land of Sound, the border between the Land of Hot Water and the Land of Fire too, along with the Land of Grass's border with the Land of Rain and the Land of Earth. Other than that, we'll be on our own," Ino giggled, "But I'm sure you can handle it," she placed her hand on Naruto's. The spiky-haired blonde didn't pull away.

"Perfect, I say we meet at five in the morning and head out then, it'll be a lot easier, make sure to sleep with your things packed."

"I have an idea," Ino wasn't done, "Why don't you just come sleep at the Yamanaka Compound, I'm sure we can find a minka you guys can sleep in until tomorrow comes."

"That'd be great," Naruto twisted his wrist so he could grab Ino's hand. The platinum blonde grinned before looking down at their intertwined fingers. She looked back up to Naruto who was staring between the curtain gaps at some building in the distance.

"Okay," Tayuya separated the two, "Naruto, since you're finished, how about you come with me to buy some clothes for the mission," she lifted Naruto to his feet.

The ignorant blonde, not sensing the tension in the air, asked, "Wouldn't Kin be more suited for that?"

"She sure is. Come along, Kin," Tayuya dragged both of them through the curtains whilst yelling, just loud enough for Ino to hear, "Don't be so scared, you dumbass, it's not like you haven't seen me naked before!"

Naruto's brow furrowed, "I haven't."

XXX

Tayuya hated doing stereotypical girly things, like applying makeup, going to parties and talking about boys, but she couldn't help but like shopping for new clothes. Something about the idea made her smile, as if buying clothes was her idea of heaven. Maybe it was a result of wearing the same thing for years as a child. Wearing the Facility's bland black jumpsuit was a lot better than wearing torn and tattered remnants of her clothes, that exposed way too much skin, as a child, but it still left her feeling restricted and burdened. So maybe she was using shopping to drown out that part of her past… but who cared, as she'd always say.

"Don't you want to pick something out?" Naruto asked Kin. The slightly older woman was always the shyest member of the Jinchuuriki trio. According to Tayuya, before they were rescued, Kin was an 'arrogant bitch', so why her personality changed so suddenly was a mystery. She had neither Tayuya's foulmouthed personality, nor Naruto's loudmouthed personality. She was always drowned out by outspokenness, but it didn't look like she minded.

"Um… I'm a little short of funds," Kin rubbed her shoulder awkwardly.

"It's on me," Naruto nudged her with his elbow.

"Oh no, no, no, no, I could never, you worked hard for that money," she sighed. She never had the confidence herself to go out into the Wastelands even though she had that Jinchuuriki status.

"It's only like fifty bucks, I get triple that every time I loot a rich bastard's house in the Wastelands."

Naruto pulled out a random fighter's outfit from the women's section, "This would be perfect on you," he was lucky to pull out something in a small. It was a black long-sleeved top with a black pair of knee-exposing leggings that came with a blue double slit dress she could wear over the outfit. The new attire would've been a great change from her stealthy green flak jacket and snow camo undershirt, pants and scarf.

Kin giggled shyly before tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, "It must be exciting to live on the edge like you do," said Kin.

"Ha, you'll see for yourself tomorrow. It's actually pretty overrated for the most part, the Wastelands are a vast plain of forests and deserts and rivers with deadly fish. The climate is more likely to kill you before any high-ranking mercenary does," Naruto downplayed the thrill of being out in the Wastelands. He did a lot of downplaying but that was because he knew something much worse was right around the corner in life.

"How's this?" Tayuya flung the curtains apart. The redhead was wearing something Naruto though he'd ever see her wear. It was so unique and surprising to the blonde that he couldn't mask his confusion, which Tayuya interpreted as disgust. She was wearing a dress. An actual dress. At first Naruto was trying to decipher if it was some kind of oversized shirt, but it was hugging her body in all the right places and accentuating too many features to be an oversized anything, "A simple 'no' would do," the angry redhead shut the curtains.

"… I think you should go apologise," Kin suggested.

"I… I didn't hate it, she just caught me by surprise with that one," Naruto blushed. He handed the outfit in his hand to Kin before rushing over to the blue drapes and spreading them slightly to allow safe passage. Tayuya kicked him square in the chest for running into the changing room while she was disrobing. Luckily she had her mesh armour undershirt on, so Naruto didn't see anything. He got the message though. The whiskered idiot landed on the varnished floor.

"You good?" the cashier asked, too lazy to walk all the way to Naruto's side.

"Yeah… I'm okay," he'd hit the ground hard, but his body was used to hard impacts. Kin quickly hung the garment so she could help Naruto to his feet. Tayuya stuck her head out to make sure she didn't break anything.

"That'll teach you to walk in on a lady," she growled.

"How did you take you take your dress off so quickly," was a more important question in Naruto's head.

"Ask another question and I'll give you another kick!"

"Why do you have to be so violent all the time, Tayu-chan, dattebayo!"

Tayuya stuck her naked leg out through the curtain, all the way up to her upper thigh, and used it to kick Naruto's stomach, "Did I give you right to call me Tayu-chan, you stinking rat?! And I told you not to ask any more questions! That was a question!"

"Hey, hey, hey! You break anything, it's yours!" the owner yelled from the backroom.

Kin, who always loved making any awkward moment between Naruto and Tayuya even more awkward, had to add her two cents to the conversation, "Well since you've broken so many of his bones, it makes sense that Naruto would be yours."

"Kin! If I wasn't in my underwear, I'd come out and beat you senseless too! How dare you accuse me of being in a relationship with someone so stupid, so reckless and so… so…"

"Calm down, Tayu-chan. You know I was just joking. Why don't you try on some more clothes to ease your emotions?" Kin tried to tranquilise the mad bull.

"I'm gonna continue trying on clothes! But not because you told me to!" Tayuya disappeared behind the drapes.

"I saved your ass," Kin folded her arms.

"Shut up and pick an outfit," Naruto was trying to nurse his wounds. As he said that, Kin grabbed some outfits that she'd been eying intently, and walked into Tayuya's changing room even though there were four open rooms.

" _ **If that vixen keeps kicking your ass and you're not getting anything out of it, one of these days, I'm going to stop healing you and you're going to die!"**_  a demonic bellow echoed through Naruto's mind. He sat against the wall and allowed himself to be sucked into his mindscape. He looked up to the giant reddish-orange fox that loomed over him with bright red, darkness-piercing eyes, and nine destructive tails waving in the background. Vapour escaped the beast's nose as it exhaled. There was no barrier between the two individuals because earlier in the blonde's life the fox got Naruto out of a sticky situation, so Naruto freed the heavenly beast to honour an agreement they'd made prior.

"I know you'd never let me die, you enjoy living too much," Naruto reasoned.

" **You forget that I'd be revived somewhere else in the world, maybe then I'd be free,"**  the fox stared into the distance. The water stirred, sending ripples out with the water as a medium **, "We'll have to cut this conversation short, your vixens are here."**

"Naruto! Naruto! Are you dead, you old fuck?!" Naruto instinctively snatched Tayuya's hand before staring into her hazel irises. His eyes widened, expecting a slap to come from the redhead's free hand, but Tayuya just pulled her hand back and said, "What the fuck's wrong with you, we need to pay for our shit."

"Oh… oh yeah," Naruto gripped the wall as he attempted to pull himself to his feet.

Tayuya punched him.

"That's for grabbing my hand so roughly, you stinking rat!"

XXX

Due to the constant wars for land, love and power, major countries and miniature lands alike had important structures and landmarks damaged to the point where repair would be infeasible. As a testament to how futile these wars were, nine times out of ten, all the countries involved in the war that destroyed that town would see the land as useless and withdraw from the area. But where one group saw trash, others saw treasure. Their base in the Land of Rain, not enough, each one of the ten pairs that made up Oumagatoki needed their own base somewhere out in the Wastelands. Somewhere so close to key strongholds that they could easily access bonds, but also far enough from those same strongholds to avoid being caught in a war where they weren't being paid to kill anyone.

Two figures, in search of the perfect hideaway, sauntered through the remains of a temple that was on its last legs. The taller and broader figure on the left, dressed in the gang's soon-to-be iconic black trench coat, walked casually with a massive heavily-bandaged sword slung over his shoulder. His beady eyes analysed the collapsing temple as he stepped over a pile of rubble. The shorter man was relatively new even according to the group's standards. After Lord Pain failed to obtain the services of the Uchiha Outcast Brothers, Sasuke and Itachi, a rogue mercenary apparently from a land west of the Land of Wind appeared at Lord Pain's doorstep. Untried and untested, the young man was nonetheless given the chance to prove himself amongst the greats.

"So tell me, how does a regular old swordsman from the Land of Water end up in a horrible place like this?" the shorter man asked.

"Brave assumption calling me regular," the taller man had to duck under a low-hanging concrete beam being held together by tattered cables.

"Even braver assumption calling you old," the short man admitted as he trampled over a thick and warm puddle of crimson ooze.

"Well to answer your question, I was one of the Land of Water's Legendary Seven Swordsmen of Mercenary Work. I was pretty capable of joining Oumagatoki on my own will, but I had a tie-in with the man behind the mask so when he formed this mercenary band with Lord Pain and Lady Angel, I was the first person he decided to recruit," the swordsman brushed aside a heavy wall of concrete, "The job description was simple enough. A band of ten mercenaries or so, we kill for money and protect each other when stuff goes sour… didn't even need to think about it. I didn't expect any of this 'become the world's greatest country' nonsense. What about you, what brought you to the Land of Rain?"

"There's not much to say, I was clanless and broken. I heard tales of Lord Pain and Lady Angel on my endeavours through the Land of Wind. I knew that in this cruel world, it was kill or be killed. I couldn't fight back against the people that got me in this situation, so I decided I'd rather fight back against the people who make my situation even tougher."

The duo got to the end of the temple and was joined by two more pairs of cloaked men. The twenty-first member of Oumagatoki, a blonde man with a high-tech eye under his bag. A huge wooden figure with a scorpion tail and rag over his nose. The only person in the group who'd seen Kaguya in the flesh, an ancient man with a grey mask and green eyes. And a handsome young-looking man with slicked-back grey hair and a smug smirk on his face.

"Anything interesting?" the man in the mask asked.

"Look at it, Kakuzu" the fish-man hybrid turned to face the temple as it stood crippled with dead trees peeping from its glassless windows and a hail of insects nesting on its walls, "What do you think we found?"

"What happened to the other two?" the shorter man with tanned skin asked.

"Some fools on top of that dune were stupid enough to pitch a tent, un. So we sent the two to go check them out," the blonde man replied. They were in a ghost town in the middle of an arid desert. The young man cupped his eyes to get a good view of what looked like a camp at the top of a large dune, but he didn't see any signs of a tent.

"And?"

"Well, as you can see there's no more tent, so I'm guessing they fixed that mess, un."

"Hey, I actually don't believe we were well introduced," the man tried to get that image out of his head by changing the subject. Sasori stole the blonde man away from Oumagatoki before Lord Pain could probably introduce them, so the males stopped to finally greet each other.

"Haha, I'm surprised you haven't heard of me by legends and tales," the blonde extended his arm to reveal a toothy smile, "Deidara, un."

"… Shinji," the man smiled awkwardly, "How about we just bow… there's no way I'm shaking that hand," he admitted.

"Deidara is a very raw talent," Sasori explained, "But he has the ability to create bombs of with clay that he spits from his hands. Crazy motherfucker, but a crazy motherfucker who doesn't care about what or who he kills… even if it makes taking himself out."

Deidara laughed before turning back to the tanned male, "What about you? Any special talents I should know about before I start pissing you off?" Shinji took a moment to observe everyone he was surrounded by. Kisame was an expert swordsman who had near-infinite chakra and could steal chakra if need be; Sasori was a mysterious puppeteer who could skin you alive if he needed to add to his collection; Deidara was a walking explosive and if you crossed paths with him you'd be a sure kill; it was rumoured that Kakuzu had mastery of all five elemental chakra affinities; and Hidan was immortal… enough said. That fact that if he wasn't wearing a black cloak he'd be dead by now made him feel a little worthless whilst surrounded by the top S-ranking mercenaries in the Wastelands.

"No," he admitted, "But that still doesn't give you the right to piss me off."

"Hmm? You don't have any special abilities? Then what stops me from sacrificing you where you stand?" the silver-haired worshipper asked.

"Me, I'm too lazy to search for another partner," Kisame gripped the hilt of his sword.

"I was just Jashin you, don't take it seriously," Hidan didn't want to start an altercation with the deadly man from the Water.

"Don't you ever say 'just Jashin' ever again… or I will kill you," Kakuzu growled.

"I'd like to say you try, old man."

"WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS!" Sasori grew impatient, "I don't want to wait for those two, so let's go to the dune and check on them."

XXX

Thanks to Naruto's inability to say no to people, Tayuya, Kin and the whiskered blonde had found themselves sleeping in a little Minka that night. In actual fact, there was nothing wrong with the Minka. The only person who had a problem with it was Tayuya, and she just didn't like who the Minka belonged to.

It didn't ease Tayuya's anger that Ino was dressed in a light purple see-through silk gown with nothing but mesh armour underneath. Wearing silk/cotton gowns wasn't uncommon, (since she was wearing a bright red nightgown with bandages wrapped around her hips and thighs, and Kin was wearing a cotton winter camo gown with her leggings underneath) but Tayuya swore that the platinum blonde temptress was saving her most see-through garment for the day Naruto came over. The barefoot beauty sauntered around the little wooden home blowing out the lanterns until the room was completely dark save for the moon's light.

The moon had formed a hundred years prior and, although it had been slowly rising into space since then, it was extremely close to the earth's surface. By extremely close, if you were able to stand on a tall enough mountain you would be able to grab a piece of moon for good luck. The heavenly satellite penetrated the clouds if they hung high enough. This meant that even though the lanterns were blown out, the Leaf scavengers were still able to see each other's silhouettes bathed in blue moonlight.

All four of them laid their sleeping mats facing each other to form a square in the centre where the last lit lantern was situated. Ino jumped into her mat from its feet and made her way up under the cotton blanket. She blew into the lantern to darken the whole house a shade.

"Hey Naruto," Kin whispered. Her head was directly facing Naruto's with Tayuya's head facing Ino's. She had to lift her chin to stare at the hyperactive ninja.

"Oi?" he lifted his head.

"What do you think the other six people will be like?" Kin rested her head.

Naruto had to think about that one. Ino answered first without hesitation, "Not as good as me, that's for sure."

"I'm willing to bet on that," Tayuya mumbled.

"Well if this really is a 500 million Ryo deal and neither the Uchiha Clan nor the Senju Clan are on it, I'm guessing it's six of the biggest and strongest and cut-throat mercenaries on this side of the Great Wall, dattebayo!"

"Fuck yeah, we'll probably have one of those strong and silent types who don't say anything but ends up wiping out an entire army," Tayuya imagined.

"Or maybe like a renowned shinobi who's discovered over a thousand different jutsu and earns millions every year just for selling them and teaching them to people," Kin thought aloud.

"I wouldn't mind a chiselled young bachelor who just has the complete package, you know? Muscular, fast, smart, never-ending stamina and maybe even to top it off downstairs, a nice, hard-,"

"Okay!" Naruto didn't want to hear the last word of that sentence so he threw his own imaginary partner into the mix, "I just want someone who's going to be there when it counts, dattebayo. She doesn't have to be extremely strong or extremely smart, but someone who's trustworthy, loyal, energetic, and never wants to give up."

"… Maybe that kind of person has been right under your nose this whole time," Tayuya couldn't hold her yawn in any longer. She rested her head on the pillow and drifted away. Kin followed suit.

"Hey Naruto," Ino whispered on the verge of sleep herself.

"Yeah?"

"Can I count on your protection out in the Wastelands?"

"… Of course, you have my word and I never go back on my…" Ino had already disappeared into her dreamscape. Naruto stared at the moonrise. The big ominous ball of rock watched over him as he drifted away.

XXX

_October, 10._

_Midday_

"Happy birthday… happy birthday… happy birthday."

Naruto made the mistake of informing Tayuya when his date of birth was. At some point during that year Naruto had mustered up the courage to ask Tayuya and Kin how old they were, and they were surprised to learn that the youngster was actually two years younger than both of them to which he quickly replied that come October 10th that gap would be reduced to one year. With that information, Tayuya vowed to annoy Naruto and remind him of how young he was every October 10th until he was older than she was (an impossibility).

"How does it feel to finally be legal?" Tayuya's arms swayed as she marched through the dense jungle. They were only a kilometre or two away from the vantage point and to Kin's disappointment they didn't run into anything or anyone while out in the Wastelands. The Glass Sanction, unlike the Sanction Hidden in the Leaves, had no barrier surrounding it because it was a government operated Sanction that anyone could enter and exit. Due to the lack of action, Tayuya spent five, long and agonising, hours listening to Tayuya make stupid jokes about being a child.

"What do you mean legal? The legal age for drinking in the Sanctions is like twelve for boys and thirteen for girls," they'd lowered the limits drastically because people were more likely to die at a younger age, thanks to the ever-present possibility of war.

Kin pulled out a kunai from her pouch and used it to slash through some leaves. Tayuya continued to mock Naruto as they manoeuvred through the difficult terrain. Ino trailed behind everyone and read her map aloud.

"You realise thanks to leaving so early, we're probably like the first ones here anyway right?" Tayuya whined.

"Not really," Kin remarked as she chopped the last green branch and walked out into the clearing. She was greeted first by three pairs of people. A pair of raven-haired men sitting next to a tree. A man-woman pair standing near the centre of the opening. A pair of women, one pink-haired, one mint-haired, who were standing against a tree.

The four Leaf shinobi squeezed between two trees to enter the clearing. The two women to their right were the first to approach with friendly smiles on their faces.

"Hey, what're your names?" the pink-haired woman asked.

"Hey there," Naruto tried to be friendly, "The name's Naruto, this is Tayuya, Kin, and this is Ino," he introduced everyone.

"Any clans between the four of you?" the second woman asked.

"Uh… yeah, Ino here is a part of the Yamanaka Clan."

They both seemed impressed.

"Don't steal my brain or anything," the mint-haired lady joked.

"Not making any promises," Ino giggled.

"Well, my name is Sakura Haruno," the first woman introduced herself. Sakura wore a shirt and apron skirt combination in a simple colour scheme. Her clothing was a mixture of bright scarlets and fleshy pinks. She wore a sleeveless red shirt with a grey zipper accompanied by a pair of black biker shorts under a short light pink apron skirt. She topped the look off with a few more accessories, namely a plain red headband, the regular mercenary's beige backpack, tight black gloves, a weapons pouch, pink elbow protectors and low heel, knee-high open-toed boots.

"This is Fuu," the pink-haired kunoichi decided to just introduce everyone else. The orange-eyed vixen wore a midriff-exposing two-piece outfit with a white and red colour scheme and a lot of mesh armouring. She wore an extremely short sleeveless white top that ended just under her relatively flat breasts. She had fishnet armour under her shirt and a pair of fishnet shorts visible under her white apron skirt. Her attire's accessories consisted of a pair of white armlets, an orange clip in her mint green hair, short white sandals and a red cylindrical bag wrapped around her torso which acted as her backpack.

"I believe that's Hoshiko," she pointed to the male member of the male/female pair near the centre of the clearing. The young man had a curly mop of brown hair and a set of equally brown eyes. Hoshiko sported a shirt and pants combination with a white and blue colour scheme. He wore a body-hugging long-sleeved white top with a tight pair of white pants and a light blue sash holding the combo together. His choice of accessories was made up of black fingerless gloves, light blue shin guards, a pair of blue goggles, short blue sandals and a beige backpack.

"The lady next to him is Asuna Kawamoto," the seated woman had sickly pale skin with long black hair and bangs so long they covered her eyes. Asuna's colour scheme was basically black with pieces of white. She was dressed in a silk black kimono with floral patterns running along both it and its obi, where the colours were inverted. Under the kimono, she wore a short-sleeved black top with a low-cut collar accompanied by a pair of black leggings that were pulled up to her waist and held by a white silk belt. It looked like her partner was carrying all their supplies so her only accessories were bandages wrapped around her torso that ran all the way to her wrists, two open-toed, shin-length open-toed boots, a shuriken pouch and a pair of traditional fans tucked into her obi.

"Those two over there are the famed Uchiha Outcasts Brothers, the one leaning against the tree is Sasuke," she used her thumb to point to the younger man with onyx eyes and black, in some lights, blue, hair. He wore a shirt and pants blend in a white and purple colouring pattern. His loose long-sleeved white shirt hung at his shoulders, revealing his toned physique. He was clad in a pair of baggy violet pants too with a pair of shin-high black sandals. The man only needed a few accessories, just a light purple rope belt with a sword at the ready, a pair of black arm-guards to protect his wrists and a purple backpack with the Uchiha logo that was currently resting by his feet.

"And the one sitting on the root is Itachi," she concluded with the most enigmatic, and probably the oldest, character in the clearing. The older gentleman had his black hair tied into a ponytail whilst his onyx eyes stared into the distance. Itachi simply wore a shirt and pants like his younger sibling but in a black and faded blue scheme. The Uchiha was dressed in a faded blue almost black short-sleeved shirt that ran past his waist, over his equally faded blue/black loose pants that were held up by a white sash. Thanks to the shirt's low cut collar along with the longer sleeves, Itachi's fishnet undershirt was visibly hugging his body. The man only had a few accessories on him, those being the bandages wrapped around his shins, his black sandals, his black backpack and his plain black headband which he wrapped around his forehead to keep his hair in shape.

Whilst Naruto had opted to stay in his orange and black jumpsuit with black sandals. His only accessories were the black headband he used, just like Itachi, to stop his spiky hair from blocking his sight. And Kin had chosen to wear her traditional sleeveless flak jacket over her winter camo shirt and pants combination and under her winter camo scarf. Tayuya and Ino had decided to change their looks a little.

Tayuya left her greyish-purple double slit dress in the Sanction and had arrived at the rendezvous point wearing a black sleeveless hooded zip-up jacket over her long-sleeved fishnet undershirt. Her upper body attire change was accompanied by a new knee-length black apron skirt which allowed Naruto to see her classic black biker shorts. She kept her bandaged up hair and the bandages she wore as socks under her black sandals.

Ino didn't really do much adjustment to her attire, but to suit the mission at hand she removed most of her makeup, snipped a lot of her platinum blonde hair so she could tie it into a lower back-length ponytail, and bought an open-front mid-thigh level purple apron skirt with a shorter black skirt that didn't go past her inner thighs under it. Lucky she kept her fishnet tights on as a form of modesty shorts.

Everyone seemed battle ready, but were too reluctant to socialise, so they retired to their own corners of the clearing and chatted amongst themselves. The boredom continued until an hour later, when a horse-drawn carriage exploded through the shrubbery to give the ten mercenaries the news they'd been waiting for. Naruto was the first to get up, and he had to in order to avoid being charged down by a half ton equine.

The carriage was a lilac purple with golden dragons running along the sides. Its wheels were made of wooden spokes attached to steel that had been finely shaped into a perfect circle. The two horses dragging the carriage through the forest were pure white thoroughbreds who responded to the well-dressed rider's shouting without putting up a fight.

"This seems interesting," Fuu commented as the carriage door was pushed open allowing its three passengers to get out and smell the fresh Glass Sanction air.

"Behold, in their excellence, members of the esteemed Hyuuga Clan. The patriarch of the Hyuuga Main Family situated in the Land of Fire's Central Sanction, Hiashi Hyuuga. The heiress of the Hyuuga Main Family situated in the Land of Fire's Central Sanction, Hanabi Hyuuga. And the future wife and matriarch of the Raijin Prestigious Family situated in the Land of Lightning's Ethereal Sanction, Hinata Hyuuga," the well-rounded man who had steered the horses recklessly into the clearing announced.

It took all of her energy and the process of repetitively squeezing Naruto's hand furiously for Tayuya to avoid shouting, "Get on with it already," she decided to wait in patience and, for a minute, enjoy the feel of Naruto's smooth large hand around hers.

"Now introducing Lord Hiashi Hyuuga, who wishes to address all of you, bounty hunters, at once," the announcer took a step back.

"Did he just call me a bounty hunter? This bitch ain't a bounty h-," Naruto used his other hand to cover Tayuya's mouth before she ruined a potentially multimillion Ryo deal.

The elderly man in a white male's kimono with green cotton robes stepped forward as the hesitant group of mercenaries bunched together in front of him. Kin was extremely distracted by the family's eerily white eyes, but Naruto was too busy contemplating about how he was standing shoulder-to-shoulder with Sasuke Uchiha. He didn't know much about the guy, but just from sensing the aura radiating off of him, he knew that this was going to be a painstakingly long mission.

"As you may know from the letter my servant sent to your respective Sanctions, my eldest daughter, Hinata, will be married to the Lightning Daimyo's grandson upon her arrival in the Land of Lightning. Unfortunately, due to the turmoil in Central Sanction thanks to our Daimyo's irresponsible retreat from the Fire-Eddies Agreement, I must stay in the Land of Fire until the wars on our borders cease," Hiashi began to pace as he spoke, "Now, the Land of Lightning has sent us, in advance, a billion Ryo to get the highest ranking mercenaries in the game. But, I couldn't leave my most precious gem, Hanabi, in the hands of a cold band of killers like the Senju Clan or the Uchiha Clan and my Hyuuga Clan is fighting on the borders so here the ten of you are. I don't want anything happening to Hanabi, so I need you to keep a low profile as you manoeuvre to the Land of Lightning. If you're able to take Hanabi to the Lightning Country and bring her back, you will receive your billion Ryo reward."

"Billion Ryo?" was the common question.

"Oh… uhh… I can explain that," the servant stepped in, "You said they were each supposed to get 50 million and with the 500 million remaining I assumed that was compensation for me."

"No, no, no, you don't get a cent. It's 50 million each for taking Hanabi and the other one to the Land of Lightning and 50 million each for bringing Hanabi back unscathed."

"Honestly, your horses in the Wastelands would be nothing but a distraction. We'd be an easier target, and last time I checked, horses weren't that useful on desert sands and in bone-chilling weather," Sasuke spoke.

"What my brother means is that," Itachi jumped in while covering the younger man's mouth with his hand, "With all due respect, Hinata's transportation would be a lot more private if we didn't have the glamorous carriage following us around."

Hiashi looked back to Hanabi, "Hana-chan, would you be able to walk all the way to the Land of Lightning, it's okay if you want to stay."

"It's okay father, my legs can manage."

"You?" Hiashi asked Hinata. The timid woman of royal blood nodded, "Then, I shall return to Central Sanction with the carriage. Don't forget to take your backpacks with all your necessities, if you run into danger I don't want either of you to engage, okay."

"Yes, father," Hinata smiled.

"Of course, father," Hanabi politely nodded.

After handing the girls their backpacks, Hiashi entered his majestic carriage and rode into the forest's darkness with his servant and the horses.

"… Well then," Ino sighed to let some of the tension simmer.

"LET'S GET WASTED!" Hanabi shocked everyone with her loud and demanding voice. She seemed so innocent and shy when her father was around, but as soon as he was far enough away she became her true self. She pulled out a list from her pocket and described in detail what she planned to do on this trip, "Before I get back to Central Sanction, I absolutely have to: Get so drunk I passed out in my own vomit. Kiss a boy. Take in some sort of illegal drug. Get laid. Smoke-."

"Hanabi! Don't be so lewd," Hinata complained.

"What? You'll be living it up in the party central of the world, sis, I'll be stuck with the strictest family in the Land of Fire for the rest of my life, this is my only chance to let loose," Hanabi threw her arms behind her head and smirked.

"You!" Hanabi pointed through the crowd to Naruto.

The clueless blonde, who'd been too busy sizing up Sasuke to carry about the horrifying conversation, pointed to himself for reassurance, "Me?"

"Yeah, you! Kiss me!" she demanded.

"The fuck you will!" Tayuya responded first.

"You're like twelve," Hoshiko scratched his hair.

"I'm seventeen, but that doesn't matter, we're both adults out in the Wastelands," Hanabi said.

"The Wastelands aren't about getting drunk or having sex… that's a major part of it, but that's not what they're about. The Wastelands are about being on the edge, survival, and fighting for what could be your last meal-."

"Let's get a move on," Sasuke was already on the opposite side of the clearing with Itachi, "Itachi and I decided it would be a great idea to stop in the Land of Rain before moving on."

"I was thinking we start in the Land of Grass," Ino said as she zipped her backpack and willingly followed behind Sasuke.

"The Land of Rain has better resources, and is much more developed. Plus… we know a guy," Sasuke smirked.

"Then let the journey begin, dattebayo!" Naruto was the last to set off, making sure to man the rear as they all disappeared in the thick jungle. Naruto, Tayuya, Kin, Ino, Hoshiko, Asuna, Sakura, Fuu, Sasuke and Itachi. Ten very different mercenaries pieced together by fate for, probably, the most dangerous mission of their lives. The journey through the Wastelands was underway.

XXX

**First chapter done and dusted, and I didn't expect it to be this long. Chapter two will probably be a little shorter.**

**As I said there are OCs and currently there are three, Hoshiko, Asuna Kawamoto and Shinji. There will be more, in fact, I'm hoping some of you can create them. The Akatsuki, or Oumagatoki, in this story are made up of twenty-one members. The named pairs are Pain, Yahiko and Konan; Deidara and Sasori; Shinji and Kisame; Kakuzu and Hidan; and Tobi and Zetsu, which means there are… ah damn, there goes my maths. A few more pairs to go, and it'll take me quite some time to come up with ten or so OCs out of the blue, so if you don't mind then feel free to comment your idea of an OC, maybe it's a character you've had in mind for a while but have never been able to write a story involving them or you just want to see something you created in my story. If you're going to send me one then why not make it someone crazy and exotic, give them a fresh new Kekkei Genkai or some unique weapon and if you like I could tag you in the chapter of their introduction.**

**Tactician Out.**


	2. Oumagatoki

**Chapter Two: Oumagatoki**

XXX

_October, 09._

"Why do we even need to have separate bases, un? I thought the whole point of being in a group was to be together all the time, un!" a young blonde man cried as six black figures motioned up a sandy dune in exhaustingly hot and moist black coats. The man turned to his partner. A shorter rounded man with a bandana over his nose and mouth.

"I'm with the kid, I was promised sacrifices! Do you want to know how many people I've sacrificed to my Lord and Saviour Jashin-sama?!" the silver-haired man roared.

"No! Tell me and I'll kill you," the masked man grumbled.

"ZERO!"

"You're a nuisance," Kakuzu walked diagonally to avoid being in his partner's personal space for any longer.

"Who's Jashin?" Shinji asked.

Kakuzu re-entered the picture to swipe Hidan's scythe from him before he could swing it around like a maniac. The immortal psychopath cracked his neck as he turned. Shinji didn't react fast enough to dodge what would've been a death sentence of a scythe swing. Hidan laughed maniacally, "Jashin-sama is a divine being who rids people of the fear of death."

"How?" he bothered to ask.

"By killing them. If you're devoted enough and trust in His power, you can be reborn with the Curse Jutsu: Death Possession Blood," he ran his tongue along a spare knife he kept under his cloak.

"Stop being so weird," Kakuzu pleaded.

"Hurry the fuck up, or I'll kill all of you!" Hiruko exclaimed.

Kisame stretched his arms up high and groaned, "What is with all of you and killing people?"

"That's the whole point of the job," Deidara smirked.

"Says the only member who hasn't actually got a confirmed kill," Sasori reached the dune's summit first and slithered over to the two cloaked individuals standing over a pile of ten or so dead bodies. "Kanemaru, you fucking killed all of them?" Hiruko growled.

"They fought back," the older man explained removing his hoodie to reveal an elderly face with deep wrinkles and heavy scars running like crevasses on the grey-haired man's face. The blue-eyed man smiled to reveal a set of four sharpened canines, "So, I get to feed on them."

"Did he even try to interrogate them?" Kisame asked as the elderly man took a knee to suckle on his victim's juices.

The second man removed his hoodie too and gave the group a cocky smirk, "Of course not, we both know Kanemaru doesn't know what interrogation even means," his huge lavender eyes darted down to the crouched man. The much older man lifted his face to reveal a slightly less scarred and much younger face with freshened up brown hair.

"Shut up, Neji!"

The Hyuuga continued to smirk, "But judging from their fighting style I'd say Nara Clan grunts. They were probably being sent out to die anyway," he folded his arms.

"Kinda like you?" the ever-so arrogant Hidan cackled.

"… My eyes alone have more strength in them than your Jashin-sama," Neji stepped over the line.

"I'll fucking end you," Kakuzu had already snatched the scythe from the maniac's back. Hidan stared Neji down.

"Hmph," Neji turned and began walking around the campsite, "Do any of you believe we can use some of their equipment to form a base of operations?"

The elderly man, finished feeding, jumped to his feet as a twelve-year-old brown-haired young boy with a baggy black cloak wearing him, "Of course we can, you butt!" the pre-pubescent scoundrel yelled.

"Quieten down, you brat!" Neji shouted.

"We've been yelling this entire time! Why must  _I_  keep quiet?!"

"Because something's coming," Neji's Byakugan automatically activated. He raised his hood back over his head and rotated his head just in case whatever was approaching was in his blind spot.

"Are you picking anything u-?"

"Shut up," Neji interrupted Kisame.

There was silence. Shinji looked back to the crumbling temple in curiosity. It was falling apart even faster now. The roof caved in on itself. Kisame noticed this too, but he assumed it was because the structure was already on the verge of collapse anyway. Hidan looked over to Kakuzu to try and understand the general emotion of the crowd. He wasn't sure whether he should be worried or not, but then again, whatever it was, it wasn't going to kill him. Kakuzu stood patiently. Hiruko, for once, waited unwearyingly. Deidara was already thinking about what attack to use next.

.

.

.

Kakuzu and Neji reacted first, "It's under us!"

The faintest mumble could be heard, "Summoning Jutsu!"

The sand exploded as a giant creature erupted from the earth and wreaked havoc on the surrounding tents and devices. Shinji, surprisingly, was already a hundred metres away. Neji finally landed. Kakuzu landed. Kisame landed. Hiruko landed. Kanemaru landed. Deidara landed.

"Where is this kid?" Kakuzu asked.

"HAHAHA! Jashin-sama, watch over me as I slay this unholy beast!" Hidan was trying to ride the massive creature like a show pony, but it was a lot more than that. Mercenaries with Summoning Jutsu contracts were extremely rare, Summoned Beasts were usually a sign that the battle was already over, so when someone used it to start off a battle it meant they wanted to make quick work of you.

The Summoning was a large and deadly mixture of an elephant with the body of some sort of killer quadruped. As the beast leapt out of its pit it tossed tons of sand into the air, creating a blinding rain of granular droplets. To add to the danger, the beast was modified, so metallic armour was fused to its skin to increase its defensive capabilities. Hidan's scythe wasn't going to break it any time soon. The silver-haired man hopped off as the creature was re-entering the earth, and rolled away before the tail come knock him down.

"It's a setup!" Hiruko noticed the bands of mercenaries exiting small sinkholes within the desert sand at the base of the dune to surround the group, "It's the Nara Clan," he spotted the complex wavy pattern trapped in a circle sitting on their backs. The men came out dressed in dusty red one-pieces that made them as close to invisible as they could get on the arid plains. The gang still had to make their way up the sandy mountain, but that would take them less than thirty seconds, and if they got there whilst the Oumagatoki were looking out for the Death Beast, they would've been at a disadvantage.

"When did the Nara Clan get a hold of a Summoning?" Shinji asked.

"And why on earth is it an elephant? Didn't they tend to the deer before the war?" Deidara asked.

"No time for conversation! Someone come up with something," Kisame grasped Samehada with both hands.

"There's thirty of them," Kakuzu used mental math to get a rough estimate, "I'll take ten, Kisame will take ten, Sasori will take ten-."

"I go by Hiruko in this form."

"Just take ten! The others can worry about the creature!"

The mercenaries were halfway up the dunes.

The man-to-man fights were quick fights and proved that the three members all deserved to be members of Oumagatoki's ranks. Hiruko's lower jaw dislocated from the upper jaw to reveal a mini-cannon. Ten shots. Ten direct hits. If the initial hit didn't kill them. The extremely potent neurotoxic venom did. They collapsed.

"Pathetic," he commented.

Kakuzu brushed them aside by trapping them in their own separate rooms made of four mud walls. He then placed a fifth slab on top of the little room. Solidified the floor. Then just crushed them in their new rock tombs. Kisame, too lazy, to expend too much chakra, blasted nine of them with Water Bomb Jutsu. They drowned as the sand beneath them sucked them in and soaked up some of the water. The last brave soul made it to the top of the hill only to be ground faceless by Samehada.

"These poor fools didn't even deserve to be out in the Wastelands," Kakuzu turned around.

"Watch out!" Shinji was trying to grab on to the monster's armour as it wriggled into the sand again. The young man leapt off. Deidara hovered above the mobile sand as the beast burrowed underneath, blowing apart dunes as it moved.

"The summoner must still be underground," Neji deactivated his Byakugan.

"Well then, let me flush them out!" Deidara dropped a couple of white balls of clay on the battlefield, regardless of who they fell on. Kakuzu quickly slapped one away. Neji dodged a ball as it stuck to the dry grass below and expanded. Hidan caught one and celebrated.

"You idiot!" everyone jumped away, excluding the immortal one.

"ART IS A BANG! KATSU!" the sand was lit up a barrage of clay going off, causing decimation that forced even the elite mercenaries of Oumagatoki to take a knee. Deidara landed as the sand exploded around him, "Who said I couldn't get a confirmed ki-!"

Someone grabbed Deidara's neck and lifted him into the air.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Deidara groaned as he clawed at the air.

"Danzo! I am a reformer. This war has taken too much from my people," the wrinkly old man commented. Deidara looked down at the bandaged elder. He was wearing a white tattered Nara Clan robe with thick bandages covering his right eye and coiled around his right arm. Deidara's eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"I don't care, un!" his hands latched onto the sides of Danzo's face. He kicked away leaving a trail of white clay, "KATSU!" the sand erupted around them. Deidara flipped a few times before landing on his feet with his back to the explosion. He turned to his left. The elephant creature opened its massive mouth and began to inhale.

"Even when you get a kill you can't get a kill!" Hiruko dug his tail into the sand. Hidan planted his scythe into the earth. Kakuzu's feet turned to earth. Kisame grabbed Shinji as he stuck Samehada into the ground. Kanemaru grabbed onto Neji who focused chakra into his feet to stay up. The suction overwhelmed all of them. They were lifted into the air.

Danzo appeared from the sandy crater to attack Deidara just as his feet rose off the hot sand.

"How are you not dead?" the brat cried. Danzo lunged. Deidara slapped him away. The blonde kicked out. The blonde disappeared as a tarpaulin swept him away and into the mouth of the vicious beast.

"KATSU!"

The explosions forced the monster to spit the man out along with a plume of smoke. A panicked Deidara landed on his feet. Hiruko flipped over in mid-air and shot at the man. A poison dart to the shoulder knocked him to his knees. The summoning vanished in a cloud of smoke. The shell of a man landed on its side as Danzo collapsed. Hidan landed on top of Kakuzu, who threw him off instantly. Kisame caught Shinji before he could hit the floor. Kanemaru was still grabbing on to Neji's leg. The irritated Hyuuga rebel kicked the kid off.

"And you yelled at me for killing someone without interrogating them!" Kanemaru whined. Hiruko rolled onto his stomach. He slid over to Danzo's side and grumbled.

"There's a difference between dead and incapacitated. Deidara, carry this idiot so we can interrogate him later!" Sasori commanded. Too exhausted to argue, the blonde lifted the old man onto a clay bird and continued to search the vast desert for any signs of a sanctum.

XXX

_October, 10._

"So, I'm guessing since we're escorting the two most valuable people in the world, then we've all got to be special in some way. Why don't we go around introducing ourselves, how we got here and what our goals are?" the ever-so-energetic Fuu was trying to start a group discussion between the ten enigmatic figures, "I'll go first, because you guys are now in the presence of a Tailed Beast Host! The name's Fuu from the Land of Waterfalls! Seven Tails! And I want to be the greatest female mercenary the Wastelands have ever seen!" she lifted seven fingers up to the skies as she roared.

Her youthfulness was greeted by reactions that covered the entire emotional spectrum. Sakura smirked before blushing. Sasuke rolled his eyes. Hoshiko and Asuna shrugged. Itachi didn't care. Naruto kinda liked her energy. In return, Tayuya knew she was going to hate Fuu. Ino and Kin chuckled as they were introduced to someone who could potentially match Naruto's intensity.

"I guess I might as well go next then. Well… my name is Sakura, and I guess unlike most of you I'm from a clan, but not a fighting clan. I'm from the Haruno Clan based in the Land of Fire. I'm guessing I was called up for this job because I spent my whole life practicing and perfecting my medical ninjutsu, to the point where I earned the title of Best Medic South of Central Sanction. My goal is to keep my family alive through the wars because… twelve years ago, prior to us moving to a Sanction, our clan was raided and every male was slaughtered… the females had to take up odd jobs here and there to find us some food, but I want to bring home this money so I can keep my family fed until this huge war ends."

"Who slaughtered your clan?" Kin wanted to know.

Sakura paused, "The Uchiha Clan."

Neither Itachi nor Sasuke flinched upon hearing that their clan was responsible for the pink-haired girl's family's massacre. No clan in the Land of Fire, other than the Senju Clan, was safe from the wave of red and white fans that would invade clans and cut down their male population. If the Uchiha brothers apologised every time they heard a sob story like that, they would have turned into a pair of depressed pushovers a year ago.

"But I don't like to dwell on sombre things like that," Sakura tried to smile, before turning to the next person in line.

"My name is Ino Yamanaka, but you can call me Ino-hime. As I mentioned before I'm from the best clan in the Land of Fire, the Yamanaka Clan, and an expert at using the Family Jutsu, which is probably why my daddy was able to organise me to join this group. Well, I wouldn't really say I have any goals, everything I have my family can hand to me on a silver platter," she giggled, "So do I really need any goals?"

Tayuya rolled her eyes at the platinum blonde's sear arrogance. Naruto shrugged. Sasuke looked back with a raised eyebrow. Ino passed the baton to the young man walking ahead of her.

"Well… my name is Hoshiko. I was born to a noble family in the Land of Frost, but my family wasn't able to hide my great wind manipulation abilities from the world. The Land of Fire got to us first, they killed off my family and placed me in their Learning Facility until the Hyuuga Clan offered the Facility a sum of money for their two best prospects, hence, I'm here," there were six Learning Facilities, five since Tayuya and Kin destroyed the Land of Sound's Test Tube Facility. The Land of Fire's Facility was the least known because the Uchiha Clan and Senju Clan wiped out most clans before they could breed powerful prospects, but a few had managed to slip through the cracks, and Hochiko was one of those few. Instinctually, the brown-haired man passed the conversation to his black-haired partner.

"Mmh? Oh, my name is Asuna," the woman brushed aside her bangs to reveal a set of onyx eyes. "My story is… roughly similar. Family used to tend to the animals in forests. The sudden distribution of chakra fused with our system and gave two or three of us a Kekkei Genkai. My family sold me for money to help them tend to the forests. The Land of Fire's Facility said they were going to let one person out for the Hyuuga Escort Mission and since Hochiko refused to leave the Facility without me… here I am."

"Are you two…?" Ino asked.

"Related?" Hoshiko asked.

"Dating," Ino corrected him.

"No," she bluntly denied.

"Asuna and I just go way back!" Hoshiko grinned.

Asuna looked over her shoulder at Tayuya and expected her to introduce herself next.

"My name is Tayuya, and I'm a fucking badass in every sense of the word. I was born in the Land of Sound, sold to the Facility, and broken out by Naruto. Another interesting fact about me is that I'm the Three Tails Host," Tayuya folded her arms as if that made her the strongest member of the group.

"Same here, just substitute Three Tails with Five Tails," Kin didn't want to say too much.

"WELL! My name is Naruto from the Leaf Sanction, dattebayo! I am the Nine Tails Host and I'm a scavenger turned mercenary-," Naruto began.

"Birthday Boy," Tayuya muttered.

Naruto continued, "The reason I was probably invited to this mission, dattebayo, was because of my limitless chakra reserves and the Shadow Clone Jutsu which I discovered whilst raiding Sarutobi Clan Ruins north of the Leaf Sanction-."

"Birthday Boy."

"My goal is to become part of a clan and the only way I can do that is by discovering a very destructive jutsu. When my clan finds out that I've become a great and powerful mercenary maybe then they'll accept me and I can die alongside my parents, dattebayo!"

"BIRTHDAY BOY!" Tayuya jumped on the blonde's back, interrupting the group's strides. Six of the mercenaries, along with Hinata and Hanabi, stopped to giggle as Tayuya straddled the angry blonde. Sasuke was fully willing to walk alone to the Land of Lightning, but Itachi grabbed his shoulder and stopped him.

After the chuckles, Hinata introduced herself as the bride-to-be who was simply doing everything because the Hyuuga Clan's reputation was on the line, and Hanabi introduced herself as the young lady who was fully ready to break every Hyuuga Main Family rule on their trip across the world.

Everyone turned to Sasuke and Itachi. The younger Uchiha wanted to stomp away again but a firm hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"It would only be formal, and beneficial to the chemistry of this group, for us to introduce ourselves too," Itachi whispered, "Some of you probably already know us as the Uchiha Outcast Brothers. My name is Itachi Uchiha, he is Sasuke of the same clan. Our only goal is to exist post-exile… nothing more."

Fuu extended her hand out to greet the brooding duo, "Welcome to the team."

Itachi looked down at the hand, then looked up into her orange eyes. The older gentleman shook the hand and forced his younger brother to do the same.

Fuu led the way, "So we have two deadly Uchiha Clan members, a medic, two prospects, someone with family in high places and four Tailed Beasts Hosts! I dare the universe to send us an obstacle we can't conquer!"

XXX

"They'll be travelling from the Land of Fire, through the Lands of Grass, Waterfall, Stone, Hot Water and Frost on their way to the Land of Lightning. They're just a bunch of youngsters who don't even know a thing about the Wastelands," Danzo squealed as Kakuzu's whip arm receded into his shoulder socket. The elder's attire, aside from his bandages, had been ripped off leaving space for Kakuzu to ruthlessly torture him. After three or four good lashes it had become apparent that Danzo neither served the Nara Clan nor had any real affiliations to any organisations. If anything, he was just a really manipulative person.

The crew had found a little rundown village about thirty kilometres from the border between Wind Country and Rain Country. The spot was perfect. There was no record of any battle, even between the Senju and the Uchiha, that spanned a radius of thirty kilometres, and they were close enough to the Sand Sanction to grab a few bonds if need be. Hiruko slid in closer to attack the man with more questions, "If these children are really escorting these Hyuuga Princesses, then why were you out here, in the Land of Wind, and not hunting them down?"

"Because of people like you," Danzo said.

Hidan entered the room and leaned his scythe against the wall, "What did he say?"

"Shut up," Kakuzu extended his arm to stop his partner.

"People like us?"

"Factions! Mercenaries who had abandoned their clans and their lands to fight for a different cause. You're a burden to these Wastelands, and as a reformer, it is my job to rid this sacred land of your presence."

"Deidara," Hiruko looked back.

"Mmm?"

"Take him outside and deal with him," Sasori commanded.

"Go with him, make sure he doesn't fuck up," Kakuzu forced his silver-haired partner to follow the blonde man and his bandaged prisoner.

"You might as well go with them, let the grown-ups talk," Kisame urged Shinji to get up and exit the room, leaving Hiruko, Kakuzu, Kanemaru, Neji and Kisame in the dusty wooden room, "So…"

Hiruko turned.

"Are we stopping this whole escort mission?" he mumbled.

"We'd be stupid not to, think about the monetary stipulations!" said Kakuzu.

"The what?" Neji asked.

"The rewards, you dumbass."

"Call me a dumbass again and I'll have no choice but to kill you!"

"There you go again, dropping the 'k-bomb', what happened to talking it out?" Kisame complained.

"Okay, how are we going to do this, slow and painful or quick and even more painful," Deidara dropped the bundle of flesh and blood onto the painfully hot desert sand, "I'm a bit of an artist myself, so if you'd like I could take you out with a bang."

"I think I slow and painful sacrifice to Lord Jashin would be more appropriate, at least you'd die knowing you served a better cause!" Hidan swung his scythe.

"How about we let him go?" Shinji asked.

"What, and I cannot stress this last part enough, the fuck, are you talking about?" Hidan raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, Kisame-sama came from a land of death and merciless killing, so he always tells me about how pointless killing can be sometimes-."

"Oops! I already shoved a bomb down his throat," Deidara kicked the man away before leaping back, "KATSU!" Shinji fell to the sand and scurried away in fear. Hidan stretched his arms out and embraced the blast as it shook the nearby building, brought a section of it down and sent a cloud of sand and smoke into the air.

"AH!" Shinji curled into a ball as the explosion, lifted him, stripped him of his black trenchcoat and dropped him a couple of yards back. Deidara was already on a clay bird manoeuvring away from the shockwave. The force of the blast cause Hidan to backflip into the building which carried him a few metres before dumping him into a sandy hill. Deidara laughed at the sight of his first Oumagatoki kill only to see the bandaged man running through the barren landscape, away from the blonde.

"How?" Deidara asked as he landed. Too stunned to even chase the man down.

Hidan brushed the wooden planks away to sit up, "Are you really that useless, Deidara-chan," the immortal psycho mocked.

"I should blow you up too for that comment, un!"

"You act like that would kill me," Hidan got in Deidara's face. Shinji removed what was left of his black cloak to reveal a fishnet shirt with a black pair of baggy pants and black sandals.

"I will kill you and your immortality!"

"You're such a fucking genius that you don't understand how immortality works! The only way you could kill me is by starving me!"

"You're starting to give me ideas, un!" Deidara growled.

"Silence!" Sasori crawled into the conversation, "You had one job, and one job only. Kill Danzo! So, where's Danzo?"

"He got away!" Hidan roared.

"You're not exempted from this," Kakuzu growled, "You can't tell me that three world-class Oumagatoki mercenaries couldn't kill one old man."

"I shoved a bomb down his throat, what more do you want, un?" Deidara kicked some sand before running into another building that was behind the pile of rubble, they'd once called a hideout.

"I don't have time for his pussy moments, Kisame, go deal with him," Sasori slid into another building to check if it had the makings of a new hideout.

Kisame closed the door as he entered Deidara's building.

XXX

"You had to say something, didn't you!" Sakura mumbled in Fuu's direction as she sat tied down to a tree in a section of the forest where the canopy was so dense, only little streams of light made it to the grassy terrain. A few minutes after Fuu's comment about their crew being unstoppable, a group of bandits ambushed the gang with smoke bombs and sleep powder, no one could react in time as more than twenty men in black jumped down from the trees.

"Shut up, ssu!" Fuu struggled with the chakra threads holding her back. Usually, she would just use brute strength and overwhelm the chakra threads, but the combined chakra of twenty adult bandits was greater than her output without the Seven Tails, "How was I supposed to know that the universe was going to send us an obstacle we couldn't conquer?"

One of the bandits picked up an unconscious Hinata and laid her on a stretcher before tying her down with twenty chakra threads, one from each mercenary. Hanabi was dealt with in a similar manner.

"Well, trust in the Land of Fire to hire a bunch of children for a billion Ryo deal," a man chuckled. He was evidently the leader since his hoodie was beaked with a pair of red eyes, unlike the other nineteen who just had normal camo green hoods.

"Hey, what the hell's going on, dattebayo!" Naruto roused from his slumber and tried to tear the chakra threads apart with his bare hands, "Damn it!" Naruto thrashed around and kicked up some dust.

"You won't get away with this, you fucking assholes!" Tayuya, reacting to the sound of Naruto's whiny voice, awoke and starting kicking too.

"The sleep powder seems to be wearing off so, without further ado, we'll be getting out of here," four bandits lifted Hinata's stretcher off the ground, another four did the same for Hanabi. Naruto's eyes went crimson for a split second, but the anger was drained out of him. The leader returned to the young adults and began sticking paper bombs to all the nearby trees, "It's just a contingency plan, you know, after all, chakra threads eventually wear away and I wouldn't want you kids to follow us to our base or anything."

"Fucking!" Tayuya cussed.

"Choumei!" Fuu lunged.

The chakra threads absorbed her momentum and her chakra before slamming her against the damp tree trunk.

"Luckily, we heard your comment about there being four Jinchuuriki amongst you, so we took the extra measure of giving the chakra threads the ability to absorb Tailed Beast chakra," the head bandit explained as he pasted another paper bomb.

"Fuu! You really need to learn to shut up!" Sakura growled.

"You can't blame me for trying to create a sense of team bonding, ssu! Without me, you would've probably killed each other using Mysterious Brooding Jutsu or something!"

"You knew that there were four Jinchuuriki and you still had the guts to call us kids?" Naruto struggled.

"Wait… how on earth did you learn how to suppress Tailed Beast chakra? Just who are you guys?" Sakura was the only one using her brains in this conversation. Naruto, Fuu and Tayuya continued to try break the strings by feeding them the chakra they needed.

"Let's-," the man removed his hoodie to reveal an elderly man with crazy white hair and red lines running down his cheeks, "keep that a mystery, shall we."

"Let's keep moving, you dirty old man," a woman exclaimed somewhere between the sea of black cloaks.

"Kukukuku, such a beautiful pair of eyes, and without that pesky Caged Bird Seal, these two will be perfect specimens," another man hissed as he helped carry Hinata into the forest.

"I have to be off, sorry you didn't get to see the death of the Wastelands," the white-haired man waved goodbye before forming the tiger hand sign and running into the forest for cover. The explosive tags lit up.

"Oi, you can't leave us out here like that, dattebayo!"

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Tayuya's eyes widened.

"CHOUMEI!" Fuu tried to use one last burst of Tailed Beast chakra.

"Shannaro!"

Itachi's eyes opened.

A hundred square metres of forest went up in a blaze. The force of, at minimum estimation, fifty explosive tags going off, ripped through the landscape, uprooted trees and caused woodland creatures to catch fire and evaporate. The fire roared and hissed as it barely missed the white-haired man and towered a hundred metres above him. Refusing to look back, in fear of being caught by the shockwave, the man hurried his gang of bandits into the safety of fresh foliage.

The blast, that could've even made Deidara shed a tear, finally subsided to leave behind a thick layer of smoke, a sizable crater and ten perfectly healthy young adults.

Sakura was the first to cough as air filled her lungs. The pink-haired medic looked up to the greyed sky and realised that she'd survived a death sentence. She grabbed a handful of beautiful green grass and ripped it from the soil, "How?" she asked, noticing that the grass to her right was charred, "What happened?"

Naruto stood up, free from chakra threads, to laugh at their predicament. The blonde had literally just cheated death, but, in all honesty, he didn't have time to think about it. The bandits that took Hinata couldn't have gotten too far.

"We need to get Hinata-hime back," Naruto clenched his fists.

"Hinata-hime?" Tayuya growled.

"Get up Sasuke," Itachi lifted his brother to his feet. The moody eighteen-year-old stared into the dense shrubbery before activating his most iconic ability. The Sharingan. His onyx eyes were suddenly drowned in a crimson hue. His left eye swirled to reveal two tomoes whilst the other eye revealed a single rotating tomoe, "Hunt them down!" he commanded.

Sasuke took a knee and prepared an assassination-style jutsu his beautiful eyes had copied during an epic confrontation between the enigmatic Hatake Clan and his former Uchiha Clan. He went through some hands before grasping his left hand and channelling lightning chakra through his arm.

"I call this jutsu! CHIDORI!" The lightning chirped to life as Sasuke flexed his chakra output. The level of thick energy Sasuke was unleashing upon the terrain not only scared Fuu, Tayuya, and Naruto (who had entities made solely of chakra resting within them), but it woke up Hoshiko, Ino, Asuna, and Kin, before knocking Sakura off her feet. The light grey clouds danced above the heads of mercenaries as they darkened and fell lower to earth. Sasuke looked up, "I've got them!" he tore through the earth as he disappeared into the bushes.

"Let's go," Itachi shunshined away.

The non-Uchihas, still extremely terrified, hesitantly followed the deadly duo into the dark forest. Sasuke's steps were nigh-silent as he bobbed and weaved around trees with Sharingan looked on the beak-hooded man trailing behind the convoy of princess stealers.

"Drop dead!" he gave his position away at the last second. He slipped out of the shadows, expecting the man to be a step too slow, but he was wrong. The lightning technique missed, flew past the two other figures and struck one of the bandits in the back. It bore a hole right through his chest, and gave him ample time to take notice of the fact that he was dying.

"Shit," the man succumbed to the rapid blood loss.

"How did you?" the white-haired man asked.

In an instant, a dark figure dashed around the clearing and cut down sixteen of the remaining nineteen bandits. As he came to a standstill, they all fell and he placed his kunai back in his weapons' pouch. Itachi deactivated his Sharingan.

"Does it matter?" Sasuke asked going down on one knee again.

The three leftover bandits who were able to dodge both Sasuke's Chidori and Itachi's quick massacre stood together and removed their hoodies. The first man was the all-too-familiar white-haired man with red lines running down his cheeks. He had a muscular build and looked like the oldest amongst the trio. The woman in the middle was a blonde with light brown eyes and a tiny blue diamond in the centre of her forehead. She looked like a young woman in her twenties compared to the men around her, who looked like they were in their late thirties to early forties. The last man on the right was a sickly pale middle-aged man with purple streaks around his eyes, pitch black hair and a pair of piercing yellow eyes.

"Kids… how troublesome. Should I just take them both out so we can be on our way?" the pale man asked.

"You see those eyes too, Orochimaru. We're dealing an Uchiha," the white-haired man noted.

"Well, they're dealing with a Senju, and not just any Senju. The Tsunade Senju, sister of the God of Shinobi."

"Oi! You need to teach me that jutsu, dattebayo!" Naruto ripped through the bushes as he entered the clearing and joined the Mexican standoff.

"Move away, you idiot!" Sasuke warned.

"Who are you calling an idiot?" Naruto roared.

"FUCK YEAH!" Tayuya exclaimed as she made a bee line for Tsunade.

"Tsunade-hime," the white-haired man warned.

"I'll just need one finger, Jiraiya," she turned, with one hand on her hip and the other hand extended she waited until Tayuya was at arm's length. She flicked her. A crater formed as the Jinchuuriki disappeared into the earth, bloodied and bruised.

"Tayu-chan!" Naruto yelled.

"Wait, Naruto, we need a plan!" Kin emerged from the greenery.

"RAWR!" Naruto's eyes flashed red.

Jiraiya bitch-slapped him into the same crater his partner had just created.

Hoshiko jumped out of the bushes but Kin held her arm out to stop him.

"Hmm?" he stared into her eyes.

"Get back!" she told Ino, Asuna, Sakura and Fuu before they could make it through the foliage.

"CHIDORI!" Orochimaru looked back for a split second and saw that Sasuke's left hand was less than a metre from his back. He shrugged it off. The technique ripped right through his chest.

"Nice one!" Fuu cheered from the background, but neither Jiraiya nor Tsunade flinched.

Orochimaru's head spun 180 degrees so he was staring into Sasuke's eyes, "I bet it feels good to believe you've won… even if it is just for a second," the older man gripped Sasuke's arm to lock it in place, before delivering a very painful bite to the younger lad's neck. The bloodcurdling scream released by the otherwise stoic man was enough to even worry Itachi. The crow king, instead of taking on the trio, rushed to his brother.

"I think it's time to get out of here," Jiraiya realised.

"Even without the princesses?" Tsunade asked.

"A trip from here to the Land of Lightning," Jiraiya looked over his shoulder to check on Itachi. The man was on his knees making sure his clansman was okay. The duck butt-haired Uchiha gripped his neck and cried as the pain coursed through his body in an excruciating fashion, "would take these kids at least a month, I'm sure we'll get more chances," Jiraiya bargained.

"What do you think, Orochimaru?" Tsunade questioned. The sadistic man was quiet for once. His body had frozen mid-stance, "Orochimaru?" Tsunade's eyes traced Orochimaru's gaze from the older man's snake-like eyes to Itachi's blood red pair. Itachi's death stare had caught Orochimaru in his tracks.

"Help me," he groaned. Itachi's eyes closed. Orochimaru collapsed.

Tsunade quickly picked the Snake Sage up and dashed into the woods.

"We'll be back," Jiraiya promised before vanishing into the forest.

Naruto was breathing heavily as he exited the crater with Tayuya under his arm. The blue-eyed idiot scanned his surroundings to try and understand what just happened, but when it proved futile, he asked Itachi – the only person who wasn't surprised by the demolition crew that had taken out his team.

"I-Itachi? What just happened?"

The eldest mercenary of the group sat down and stared into Sasuke's hazy eyes. He used Genjutsu to mercifully knock the young man out, "I don't know," Itachi admitted, "But somehow people know about our movements… I think we should rest here."

"… Agreed."


	3. A Team

**Chapter Three: A Team**

XXX

_October, 10._

After a brief but, all things considered, deadly day in the Land of Fire's Wastelands, the sun had set over the forest's horizon and the dark clouds that had been ominously watching over the quick battle had finally decided to do what they do best, and discharge an ever-lasting burst of petrichor-enriched rain. The leaves livened up as the droplets high-fived them on their way to the well-nourished rainforest's floor. The mercenaries, who were tasked with escorting the most valuable people in the Land of Fire (Aside from the Daimyo, himself), had all released their tents and held them up, a foot or two off the drenched soil, on sticks to avoid getting wet while they slept.

Everyone's favourite knuckleheaded blonde sat silently in his tent trying to contemplate what on earth had just happened. The Wastelands were always a world of death and suffering, but he'd never been on the receiving end of that before, so to see one of his teammates go down that easily shook him up. The fact that this was his first day out of a potential thirty or forty made him feel even worse inside. This was his most rewarding mission ever, the money he won from this task would've been enough to feed his children's children, so there was honestly no room to fuck up.

"Penny for your thoughts, Birthday Boy" Tayuya was cutely dressed in an oversized dark pink rain poncho that she'd bought the previous day just for this kind of situation.

Naruto's pupils constricted, "Huh? Oh, um… I'm just worried about… Sasuke," Naruto explained.

"You're worried about someone you only met today?" the redhead wondered.

"Whether we like it or not, we've all got to work together for the next month, dattebayo," Naruto scooted over to make space, at the mouth of his tent, for Tayuya, "Teamwork is a very important skill out in the Wastelands, and a team of ten is greater than ten strong individuals, so the best thing I can do to help us get to the Land of Lightning is care for each and every member of this team as I would want them to care for me."

Tayuya gawked in awe as Naruto utilised his Ninja Art: Inspiration Jutsu to its fullest extent, "You're so hot," she muttered.

"Huh?"

"You're so stupid," she punched the younger man's arm, "I need to get some sleep, you should stop worrying about that fucker and get some as well," the foulmouth chuckled before throwing her hood over her head and walking across the clearing to her raised tent.

Naruto observed his surroundings one more time to get a feel of the people he'd be working with for the rest of this journey. Sakura was in the large Uchiha tent, where Sasuke and Itachi were meant to sleep. She'd taken up the task of healing Sasuke and invited the ladies to the tent for assistance and for a bit of entertainment. Itachi, who didn't like being in his crowded chambers, had gone across the clearing to Hoshiko's tent where he sat there talking to the brown-haired man and Fuu, who chose to exclude herself from the congregation of women. Tayuya returned to her tent, which she was sharing with Kin and Asuna, to get some rest and relaxation. After an incredibly hostile day, it was good to see that everyone was at least trying to get to know each other. The blonde finally dropped his head onto his bed and shut his eyes.

" _ **Take… me… to the moon."**_

Naruto's eyes opened, "Did you say something, Kurama?"

" _ **I heard it too, but I don't know where it came from,"**_ the feral beast growled. It lifted its ear to listen for another faint sound but all he heard were water droplets, soft breathing and depression.

" **It must have been nothing."**

Hoshiko shifted awkwardly closer to Fuu in order to accompany Itachi's wider muscular body. The onyx-eyed weasel lowered himself onto the soft material and sighed.

"How's it going with your little brother, ssu?" Fuu asked.

"I'm trusting in Sakura to keep him safe."

"That's a lot of faith to put into someone you just met," Hoshiko shrugged.

"Perhaps you could look at it as someone I just met, or you could see it from the future as someone I will soon have known for a very long time," Itachi changed the perspectives, "No matter what happens, we'll be together for a while, so the sooner we get acquainted, the sooner we get to the Land of Lightning."

"Damn," Hoshiko was stunned.

Itachi chuckled, "Anyway, what were you two talking about before I got here?"

"I was basically thinking that one of the reasons what happened, happened, was because we don't have a leader. I get that we all want to be equal, but having someone who can relay tactics and help us execute them would help us avoid being all confused like we were a couple of hours ago."

"We were talking about who would be the best candidate for leader, ssu!" the orange-eyed mercenary explained.

"And?" Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"I nominate myself!" Hoshiko grinned.

"Why?" Itachi asked.

"A leader has to be the best member of the team!" he yelled, catching the attention of both Naruto's and Tayuya's tents, "He has to be strong, fast, quick-thinking, precise and stubborn."

"Stubborn?" Fuu wanted reassurance on that last part.

"All qualities you possess?" Itachi asked.

"I have bucketloads of all those qualities," Hoshiko promised.

"Then how come I haven't seen either of those? Last time I checked, you were the last to wake up after that sleeping powder fiasco," Itachi said.

"Watch me! I'm the best candidate for leader in this group!" Sakura opened the Uchiha tent a bit to see where all the yelling was coming from, "And I can prove it anytime and anywhere! Come at me!" he challenged.

"… No, I'm not a fighter, myself, especially not an impromptu fighter. What I will say, though, is that a leader, similar to a writer, is someone who shows not tells. Good night Hoshiko, Fuu."

"You're a very impulsive person," Fuu noticed.

The hot-blooded man looked to his left and smirked, before shuffling to the right to give the Jinchuuriki space to move around, "Perhaps," he rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry, ssu. I got into all kinds of trouble for being the unruly woman I am!" Fuu flashed him a buggy grin.

Hoshiko chuckled, "You interest me, Fuu. Tell me a bit about yourself."

Tayuya, seeing that the mild confrontation between Itachi and Hoshiko had died down, entered her tent face-first and landed on her bed. Kin smacked her ass playfully which forced her to prop up and join the conversation.

"What the hell?"

"So, how did it go with  _Naruto-kun_?"

Tayuya hid her blush, "The fuck, do you mean how did it go? I just wanted to go check up on the Birthday Boy is all," she hit the bed again, this time on her back, and covered her face with a pillow.

"How long are you going to wait to proclaim your love for him?"

"You've grown too comfortable when around me, I like you more when you're a shy piece of shit," Tayuya growled.

"She likes Naruto?" Asuna asked sipping on a small cup of tea that she'd made when the gang settled down. The vantablack-haired woman stared across the dimmed clearing at the blonde who was trying to contentedly rest his body on the slightly raised bed, "Why?" was a good question.

"I don't fucking like him," Tayuya screamed just enough for her pillow to absorb 95% of it.

"What she means to say is that, she'd tried to escape that Facility so many times and when people found out that she was from the Facility they'd shun her or just take her back because subjects are usually seen as dirty, undeserving of freedom and born just to fight other humans… you'd know the feeling," Kin began. Asuna nodded having just gotten out of the Land of Fire's Facility. Tayuya didn't say anything, she just lay there with her pillow on her face, "She's not willing to admit it, neither am I, and probably neither are you, but whenever you find someone who's actually willing to help you knowing that you're from a place as horrible as a Facility… it makes you think that that person has seen your worst, so they can't unlove you from then on… it makes you want to hold onto them forever, because you might never get that love ever again. Am I right?"

"… Shut the fuck up," Tayuya didn't scream, it sounded like she was too busy fighting away tears and an eventual shuddering sob, "Please."

"Can I ask one thing though?" Asuna persisted.

"What?" Kin asked.

"No," Tayuya whispered.

"Why Birthday Boy?"

Kin looked over her shoulder, "That… only Tayuya can tell you," the redhead ignored them both and pretended to be asleep, "But I feel like since she hasn't even told me what's her deal with birthdays, you'll probably never hear what that's actually about."

Tayuya sighed.

_A much younger redhead sat at the top of a hill looking over a vibrant Land of Sound. The war-free village of D Minor was decorated with music notes, built from sonorous woods and metals that would make sweet music when a fresh breeze ran through them and bards that roamed the village improving on their melodic talents. The hazel-eyed cutie giggled as a pair of aromatic hands covered her eyes._

" _Who's that?"_

" _Take a guess, Birthday Girl."_

" _Daimaru-kun?" she guessed correctly. The village's most gifted eight-year-old hopped over the seven-year-old angel and held a little package in his hands, "Why do you call me Birthday Girl all the time?" the little boy was always the first to acknowledge the lady's birthday, and he would repeat it to the point where it got annoying._

_"You see it takes a lot of brain power just to remember things, and most times menial things like remembering the date of someone else's birth, usually takes the backseat for most people. So, I really value people who are willing to use those spare brain cells to remember something useless like my birthday, and to prove to people that I value you, I remind you of the fact that I'm using these few brain cells to remember something that may be useless to me," that wasn't how brain activity worked, but Tayuya was eight and to her that sounded like a solid enough science, "Basically, remembering someone's birthday is the ultimate show of love for me."_

_"Well then why are we out here on my birthday? We don't want to be caught in a chakra burst," the toddler complained. The village elders told tales of how every quarter of the year, at four in the afternoon, chakra bursts (shockwaves of chakra that appeared at the hour of Princess Kaguya's death) would rush across the world, spreading her dying words and causing children to be filled with her evil. Thus, every quarter, at four, people would return to their homes, lock the doors, close the airholes and hide in hopes of surviving the wave._

" _You realise the chakra wave things are all just myths right, our elders are always trying to keep us down, Birthday Girl."_

" _Aww, you're so bad," Tayuya loved Daimaru's carefree attitude, "What's in the box?"_

" _Open up and see, Birthday Girl," the redhead brushed a strand of hair aside to free up her face, before carefully unwrapping the box and tearing the cardboard to reveal a beautiful silver flute, "You said you always wanted to join the D Minor School of Music, but your parents couldn't afford to buy you an instrument… so here's your ticket to success."_

_Tayuya couldn't hold the tears back. She tried turning back to fan the tears dry, but Daimaru grabbed her wrist passionately and stared into her eyes. His faded blonde spiky hair waved in the wind as he blinked._

" _Daimaru…"_

" _Yes?"_

" _I… I…" Tayuya couldn't get the words out. The moment was too perfect. She grabbed his other hand and struggled to breathe… suddenly she was genuinely struggling. She felt heavy and tense. Daimaru's face turned blue, "What?"_

" _Birth… day… Girl."_

" _ **Kaguya-okaasan!"**_

" _ **NOOO!"**_

_The wind spoke. A blue wave of heated energy hurried over the village dealing extensive damage to buildings and landscapes. The destruction was enough to level buildings and decimate crops. Tayuya gripped her flute tightly and closed her eyes. Using the last of his energy, Daimaru shielded Tayuya from the trailing wave that did one of two things. That turned out to be the three hundred, and sixty-first wave. For some people, it unlocked the final chakra point located in the chest, allowing them to mould chakra into ninshuu and later ninjutsu. For others, it overwhelmed their chakra pathway system and boiled them from the inside out, causing them to evaporate. Tayuya was the former. Daimaru was the latter._

_Her boyfriend melted away in her hands._

Tayuya gripped her flute, rolled onto her side and fell asleep.

"How is it going?" Itachi lifted his Uchiha tent's flap to check on his brother. The young man was sleeping half-naked surrounded by Sakura, Ino, Hinata, and Hanabi. The pink-haired medic had cleared up a table, placed him on said table, tied her hair into a messy bun using her red headband, and started the process of healing the younger man using bright green chakra. A symbol had been drawn along the floor in the centre of the room, under Sasuke's table, that ran out and surrounded a seated Hinata, Ino, and Hanabi.

"He'll live," she explained, "But removing the seal on his neck is proving to be a lot more difficult!" her hair fluttered as the chakra splaying out from her hands intensified.

Itachi sauntered through the room until he reached a two-seater bench, "My only concern was for his life, I could not imagine a world without my brother."

"Aw," Hinata lifted her head. The symbol under her body unravelled.

"Hinata-san! Chakra!" Sakura warned. The lavender-eyed woman redid the tiger seal, reforming the symbol beneath her silky body.

"What exactly are they doing?" Itachi asked.

"Surgeries like these take up a lot of chakra," Sakura started, "And while I probably have the most impressive chakra control in the Land of Fire, my chakra reserves aren't as impressive, thus our Sanction healer taught me this jutsu that allows me to use chakra from up to four individuals at a time… it also helps to have a little light conversation going on while doing a procedure."

"We were just talking about girl stuff," Ino blushed.

"We were talking about fucking," Hanabi smiled crudely.

"Hanabi! Language!" Hinata scolded her little sister.

"Japanese! English? Are we being subbed or dubbed?"

"That's not what I mean?" Hinata yelled.

"Guys, focus, this operation could take hours, or maybe days, depending on how-," Sakura was interrupted by Sasuke flinching. Her hands flew back as chakra rushed out of the young man's body. They all blinked as he dashed across the tent and landed on his feet, "Or… a few minutes."

The young Uchiha's body released steam as his body extended to the full height of 170 cm. He searched the room for his white shirt, threw it on and turned around as he buttoned his shirt up. When he noticed the four women he finally spoke, "What are you doing in our tent?"

"Sasuke-kun?" Sakura took a step forward, "How are you feeling?"

"Kun?" Ino's head tilted.

"I'm fine, and that doesn't answer my question," Sasuke muttered.

"Maybe you ladies should return to your own tents, give my brother some time to rest."

"No wait, I need to do a few more tests, and check-ups," Sakura said as the other three ladies walked her out of the large tent.

"Are you in fighting form?" Itachi asked.

"As always."

XXX

"Are you crying, kid?" Kisame asked leaned his bandaged sword against the crumbling wall. The blonde was sitting on the remains of a couch staring out the window at a setting sun.

"Of course I'm not crying, it's just irritating to be paired off with someone like Sasori," he blew his bang away from his eye, but the action proved futile.

"You should be glad," Kisame sat on a chair adjacent to the boy's couch, "You found yourself an artist, and a natural mentor at that."

"I would hardly call Sasori an artist, un!"

"Calm down! This place has thin walls."

"I don't care, un! You're a bad artist!" Deidara yelled. Kisame slapped him on the back of the head.

"Believe it or not, for a young developing reckless motherfucker like you, Sasori is the best mentor you could have scored. His attacks are slow and precise to complement your fast and random destruction. He's one of our strongest members so if you're stuck, he can get you out of a tough situation. The guy once took down an entire country for Kami's sake," Kisame tried to convince the explosives expert, "The guy's been through a lot so I'm sure he's a little difficult, but I mean Nagato, Yahiko and Konan are already a confirmed trio, Neji would've killed you by now, Kakuzu would've killed you twice by now, Kanemaru doesn't like explosives-."

"Okay, okay, I get you, he's the best possible match for me, un."

"Yeah, so try work with the guy, maybe get some sweet artistic combos in now and then," Kisame stood up.

"Hey, I thought you were supposed to be like a bloodthirsty killer swordsman or something."

"I am," Kisame paused.

"You sure as hell are the nicest murderer I've ever met."

Kisame deadpanned, "I could kick your ass if you want me to?"

"No, no, no, un. I was just complimenting you," Deidara raised his hands in defence.

XXX

_October, 11… Midnight_

Space and time distorted into a single point as the trees rustled and a breeze flowed through the Ten-Man Hyuuga Chaperoning Team's temporary base. The anomaly only ceased when a man in pitch black landed on one of the surrounding trees' hefty branches. He appeared and placed his hand on the trunk to lean on it.

"Don't you think this is a little risky?" an entity began to sprout from out of the tree's trunk.

"What?" the orange-masked man shrugged.

"Being so close to these guys so early in their mission?"

"Do you think they can see us? Just look at them," the masked man pointed at the whiskered blonde who forgot to close his tent flap. The hyperactive knucklehead was out cold in a full-spread eagle position that allowed all four of his limbs to touch a corner of the tent, "We can talk as loud as we want and no one would hear us."

" **Yeah, yeah, yeah, Tobi, what did you want to do here anyway?"**

"Hmm? I just wanted to make sure they're okay."

"Okay?"

"Yeah, I got word that they were attacked during the day, so I wanted to make sure they all survived," Tobi turned to face Zetsu, "Lord Pain wants them alive."

" **Yeah? And what if they had all been slaughtered? What would you have done?"**

Tobi stared at the clearing. The rain continued to fall. He looked up at the faint moon's dim light as it tried to penetrate from behind dense grey clouds. Tobi removed his hood before saying, in a deep voice, "Mourned."


End file.
